Subway

American culture kind of sucks. I'm white and I have no culture - I mean, I descend from Poland, but that doesn't count.

I went to a choir concert at a local high school today. Jerry is in mixed choir, so he asked me to come and I was more than happy to. His choir was the only one that didn't suck, and I'm not saying that just because he was in it. After that, we went to Subway.

Every time I go to Subway, they have attractive teenagers working there - what's up with that? Is it like that in every Subway? I wouldn't know. I mean, it's not like I go to every Subway just to see everyone who works there. They would start wondering something was wrong with me - obsessed with their cucumbers or italian bread, or something.

I'm tired of the music that is currently at the top of the charts. It all kind of sucks right now. They need some music. Real music. Not that pop stuff - or whatever they call it now.. rock? Do they call it rock? OH YES, they call it rock... -_-; Good songs contain vibrato voices - even if the vibrato is expressed through screaming. The punk bands sound a bit nasally.

~A road stamped with
the seal of a damp tire,
the treads stripped and
air seething. Brings me
back to my holiday. I
broke down, my coins
and I - We broke down.
Always the fifth season -
The fifth season drinking
cider. I could be stranded
on the side of a road and
you'd show up beside me -
I don't know whether you
would rip the tires off or
replace them. Seems like
everyone I know, I've
met not long ago.~

Rising Lymph Nodes

This week has been stressful. Sad, it having to be stressful enough to elevate people's lymph nodes - and when people start bitching about how bad the week's been going, you would think, "Oh. Exaggeration." Far from that - something about the mind meeting major changes or something like that. I love people who make a big deal out of things; makes your 'problems' smaller.

A close friend wants her poetry published and wants to use me as a model for some of the pictures in it. To be truthful, I don't see how I could contribute to the art field especially in terms of my body. But oh well - as I quote her, "With the right pose and clothing and stuff." Yep. And stuff.

Every time I write an entry in here, I'm afraid I'm going to say something wrong. It is a blog though and I should be able to express my true feelings, right?


Well, I found three new 'faults' in me today:

• Talk too much
• Concentration breaks very easily
• When I fail to grasp a problem in its entirety and mystery, I get very pissed.

Talking too much: Found this out on the bus. I talk a lot. Really, on the bus - I talk for over 30 minutes about stupid things. Concentration breaking: Found this out in Geometry when Julie (same friend wanting to get her poetry published) talked to me and handed me a camera, expecting me to look at the pictures. Of course I was called on and made to stand up for 'not paying attention''. I had been, but I didn't want to answer the question because I felt lazy. <~~ Good excuse, I know. *Rolls eyes.*

THIS is where Romance meets Challenge

I told someone, lets say a friend, about Saturday night - spent the night at Jerry's house. I told her some things that happened (funny, yet personal things) and the next day she embarrassed him in front of his friends about it and he called me later Monday afternoon sounding a bit upset. I talked to her about it respectively and she took it a bit too seriously and didn't talk to Jerry at all today.

I'm angry at myself for this and I have absolutely no right to blame my friend. I shouldn't have told her anything. It was personal, and it should have stayed between Jerry and I. He says he isn't upset with me, but if he is resentful I wouldn't blame him one bit. As he told me though - it will all blow over eventually. Soon, no one will care what our business is and will recognize us as an item and not just two people 'being boyfriend and girlfriend.'

He seems less enthusiastic to talk to me on the phone now. I guess it would be that way, us talking every day and all. It would get quite boring. I didn't say "I Love you" to him. I don't know if he wanted to hear it or not but he didn't say it either, and all we said was 'bye' to each other. That's okay though - I did bring up to him, when over at his house, that you have to be very careful with those words; especially over the phone because after awhile, 'I Love you' starts to sound very plastic, rigid, and rehearsed. For some reason, he remembers a lot of things I say and do so perhaps it is what I said - but I am analyzing his actions too much, aren't I? Lol.